Amaretto Sour
sour, sweet & tipsy
Oh, for fuck's sake 
8th-Oct-2008 11:21 pm
Fai - Smirk
Okay, that's it.

I can take a lot in bad ebooks. But werewolf body change including natural ass lube?

Going to bed now.
Comments 
9th-Oct-2008 03:23 am (UTC)
o.O ...what??

On a related note, your icon says it all. :)
9th-Oct-2008 03:26 am (UTC)
Hahahaha, awesome. I hope it was flavored.
9th-Oct-2008 04:04 am (UTC)
If it's flavored, it should be something that's equally nonsensical: Tang. Or maybe salami. You never hear of meat-flavored lube.
9th-Oct-2008 05:15 am (UTC)
I guess it would be too cheesy to have it be cherry flavored or something else like cinnamon (which would of course be the natural scent of that person)
9th-Oct-2008 05:29 am (UTC)
Gabe rolled his eyes as Tony skidded the shopping trolley around the aisles. He really ought to start doing the grocery shopping alone he thought, skimming the list once more.

“Next aisle, we need toiletries.”

“Lube you mean?”

“Shutup! This is a supermarket! And stop leering like that. We also need toothpaste and shaving cream.”

“Lube it is.”

As Tony scanned the higher shelves, Gabe quickly grabbed their usual brand of shaving cream, it was on a good special this week.

“Dude, we totally have to get this one. It’s bacon flavoured.”

“What?” Gabe looked up. Sure enough, the box of lube his boyfriend was waving in his face claimed to be ‘crispy bacon’ flavoured.

“Put that back!”

“But it’s bacon flavoured.”

“Exactly.”

“C’mon, it’ll be like having breakfast and dessert at the same time.”

Gabe could feel his face flooding with embarrassment. “Put it back and get a normal one.” He snapped.

“Fine, fine, be boring.”

Heading further down the aisle to get toothpaste, Gabe didn’t notice when Tony slipped the bacon flavoured lube into the shopping trolley.
9th-Oct-2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
...I don't know if I wanna laugh or be disturbed by "bacon flavoured lube"...

...LOL!! Nope, too awesome to be disturbing! Nice drabble!
10th-Oct-2008 12:21 am (UTC)

Totally slayed me this morning. Much awesomeness ^___^ I died laughing, and worried my laughter would wake my roomie.
9th-Oct-2008 05:07 pm (UTC)
I wanted to say 'Bet it tasted like ass' but Tsaiko has already taken that one. I will settle for, 'I bet it tastes like wet dog'.

...

I think I hurled a little.
9th-Oct-2008 03:32 am (UTC)
*LOL!!!* For REAL??? XDDDD
9th-Oct-2008 03:33 am (UTC)
Lol, say whut? Did you even touch any of the books I sent you?
9th-Oct-2008 10:20 am (UTC)

I touched them long enough to set them on fire.

Yes, I am slowly working my way through them, though I'm not reading that Bartimaeus book. I'm still fucking pissed they kill of the guy who summoned him.
10th-Oct-2008 05:19 am (UTC)
For what its worth, Nathanial, the kid who summons him, is the biggest fuck-tard in the world. He treats Bartimaeus like shit, and Bartimaeus is awesome.

But, really, my big problem with those books was the third person to first person to third person switch that went on. I got really confused after a while.
9th-Oct-2008 03:37 am (UTC)
Aha, the hell? I'm not even sure I have words for that. I'm pretty sure if I thought about it for more than five seconds blood would pour from my eyes.
9th-Oct-2008 03:39 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wow...
9th-Oct-2008 03:50 am (UTC)
Yeah...people do that with Elves too. NOT OKAY.
9th-Oct-2008 03:51 am (UTC)
ROFL. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is laugh. ^_^. Seconding goblin's comment as well.
9th-Oct-2008 04:12 am (UTC)
*cracks up* That's hilarious! :D
9th-Oct-2008 04:13 am (UTC)
I've read a story similar to that, but it worked because the species of the character was part a completely male race where he played the part of 'life bearer' so it made sense in that world.

This instance makes me go "Huh?"
9th-Oct-2008 04:27 am (UTC)
My only comment is, what is the name of the book, I think I want to read it. hehe :)
9th-Oct-2008 05:11 am (UTC)
Ah yes, I just read this one. And when that part came up, I just said 'WTF?'

I just don't get why they try to play with the male body so much. Men don't produce natural lube. Lordy the only story that was remotely plausible was in Xenobia's orginal fiction where some men were 'life bearers'.

That's it folks.

...It does make me laugh though. ^^
9th-Oct-2008 05:13 am (UTC)
woot! Self-lubricating uke for the WIN! *dies laughing*
9th-Oct-2008 05:26 am (UTC)
o.O

So I take it you've read a lot of eBooks? I'm running out of good slash fic to read, and thinking about buying some. Have you happened to read any of these?

Josh Lanyon's Adrien English, The Nightrunner series (which actually isn't an eBook), Kirby Crow's Scarlett and the White Wolf, Elisa Viperas's Dark Lord Seeks Friendship, Maybe More, Jet Mykles's Heaven and Purgatory, or Emily Veinglory's The Wicca Man: Tongue-Tied, by any chance?

I'm trying to get opinions before spending my horded birthday money. So far, [info]tsaiko has recommended the Nightrunner series. Any you might have encountered?

Thank you!
9th-Oct-2008 05:33 am (UTC)
I know you didn't ask me but I will recommend anything by Lynn Flewelling (Nightrunner) and Elisa Viperas.

Elisa Viperas is also known as Sandra Fuhr and has a brilliant webcomic called 'Friendly Hostility' (http://friendlyhostility.com/), if you're interested.
9th-Oct-2008 08:48 pm (UTC)
*butting in*
AAAHH! I love Sandra's comic! I didn't know she wrote, though. I should've, now that I actually think about it... Thanks!
9th-Oct-2008 09:41 pm (UTC)
Webcomic! >.< Thank you for adding your two cents! Additional information is ALWAYS welcome.
9th-Oct-2008 10:17 am (UTC)

I like the English books, Nightrunner is good, Scarlet and the White Wolf I liked, the rest of those I do not know, though Emily Veinglory can be a hit or miss type writer.
9th-Oct-2008 08:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you! [info]kirby_crow actually saw my entry about this and sent me the first of the series to entice me into buying the rest. ^^ Now to find time...

For Veinglory, which books are the "hits," if you don't mind me asking? I read the excerpt of Dark Lord and it sounds like a very humorous parody of several fairy tales and myths.
11th-Oct-2008 11:08 am (UTC)

You know, I think I lied. I looked through what I have of Veinglory, and I don't recall liking any of them. What's your email address? If you want, I'll send you some of the ebooks I have and actually like.
11th-Oct-2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
You weren't the only one to not like Veinglory.

(oops, dark lord was viperas XD)

Oh would you? My e-mail's just my lj user name @yahoo.com

I bought the Dark Lord Seeks Friendship one if you'd like it. (Hee, book exchange!) I have it in .doc and .html if you have a preference.
9th-Oct-2008 02:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the list. I'm going to try some of those authors :).
9th-Oct-2008 08:36 pm (UTC)
Glad to help. If you happen to read any of these in full, mind shooting me a message about your humble opinion? The excerpts I've read from all of these sound pretty good, but an excerpt doesn't necessarily mean that the whole novel will be the same quality. XD
11th-Oct-2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
Hi, I'm replying here just in case anyone else is curious. About the books...

With Adrien English, it takes a really good writer to overcome my first person POV phobia so this one got skipped.

Scarlett and the White Wolf has a good plot and excellent characterisation and I'm going to pick up the remaining two as I know what's going to happen.

Dark Lord Seeks Friendship, Maybe More is brilliant and definitely worth buying.

Heaven is basically a PWP.

Half way through The Wicca Man: Tongue-Tied I decided that I really didn't care about the main character's Issues ™ and the vampire romantic interest needed to be deflated and put back in the cupboard.

Hope this helps :).
11th-Oct-2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
You are awesome beyond belief! I finally caved and bought the Dark Lord one and I totally agree with you.

[info]kirby_crow sent me a sample of Scarlet, but I still haven't found time to read it. XD

Oh, good--I was about to buy Wicca-man. Thanks so much!
10th-Oct-2008 05:26 am (UTC)
Um...

How much sex do you want in your books? Because Heaven and Purgatory is pretty much all sex... between a famous rock band that decides they are all gay. Heh. Not very believable and not too much plot, but, like I said, if you want sex, its got tons.
10th-Oct-2008 07:33 am (UTC)
WHAT? Really? T^T I sort of wanted those two purely because I was hoping for a long, slow build up with plenty of UST between the two male leads. Do the books have that? Because otherwise, I don't think the author's rather florid prose would do it for. ^^;

Thanks for letting me know! PWPs, much less a novel-length one are NOT my cup of tea.
11th-Oct-2008 02:51 am (UTC)
I was really sad too when I got those books. I was expecting more.

There is plenty of ST but not UST. It's definitely requited.

They do have a little more substance that a pure PWP, but not by much. Eh, I wasn't too impressed.
11th-Oct-2008 03:18 am (UTC)
Thanks for saving me $12! I guess if I ever get really desperate for new reading material, I'll buy the cheaper eBook. XD
9th-Oct-2008 10:04 am (UTC)
*spittake*

*mops Diet Coke from the keyboard*

*laughing*

Oh, that's just sad!
9th-Oct-2008 12:17 pm (UTC)
lol whut? XD
9th-Oct-2008 12:19 pm (UTC)
Someone has been reading too much yaoi manga and then stealing ideas. Because seriously, self-lubing anuses? They show up all the damn time.

You know, I bet it tastes like ass. XD
10th-Oct-2008 12:22 am (UTC)

Yeah, you can always tell the ones that received their degrees at Yaoi Academy. -__-
9th-Oct-2008 02:29 pm (UTC)
That was definitely a wtfh moment. I mean, dude, like the guy didn't know they were going to have sex? Like the author couldn't have had him prepared so that they didn't have to resort to werewolf nature lube as a reason? (Hell, at that point, I doubt lube really needed to be mentioned at all, so I have no idea why she bothered with it. X_x)

10th-Oct-2008 12:21 am (UTC)

Yeah, it was completely random. Everything was fine as was, then suddenly "Oh, we have no lube." "That's okay, you magically make it now?" Some authors, they confuse me so.
9th-Oct-2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
WHUT.

10th-Oct-2008 06:44 pm (UTC)
...oh man, it's been done already? damn, now I can't use that plot device in the catboy!story I'm currently writing! curses!


...please tell me the story was crack!fic, and not pretending to be serious..? it would help my sanity - whatever's left of it - lots...
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